To My Perfect Son

Dad, why can’t I seem to get my life together? Everybody else seems to have it together… But I’m just a mess.

Son, I need to tell you something. Ready?

You’re perfect.

Yeah, I know a lot of people say, nobody’s perfect, or everybody can improve…. etc. But I look at it a little bit differently.

I get it, you want to be stronger, you want to be better at your hobbies, you want to make more money, you want all kinds of stuff. You want to be “better.”

And that is wonderful and one of many reasons I am so proud of you.

You’ll never stop wanting more — never. And that’s great because it always gives you something to aspire to; to look forward to, to work towards. I think that’s what makes being a human on this earth fun.

But even as you aspire for more, never forget that you are perfect.

Since you will never stop wanting more and wanting to be better and do better and do more and be more, you’ll never “get there.” You’ll never “make it.”

Does that sound depressing?

No son, I’m not saying you won’t get everything you want. You will get everything you want and more than you can imagine. You’ll achieve all kinds of things, you’ll get better at this and do better at that and you will achieve this and get that — you’ll keep doing all those things — more and more and better and better. And each time your life gets better, you’re idea of “normal “ will reset. Oh, this new thing, this new place I have, this person I am now, these things I have now, this relationship I have now is fantastic! And that’s great, but it becomes your new normal. Guess what happens then? You want more or better or bigger or faster or taller or better or a different color than this thing you wanted so bad that has now become normal.

Fantastic! Son, that’s the very set of forces that will work on you always. You’ll always have that drive for more. That drive will always push on you. It will never go away.

Never let it keep you down.

It’s easy to say to yourself, “Shit, it sure sucks to be here cause I really want to be there and have that and shit I sure suck cause this person and that person are already over there and have all that, but I’m stuck over here like a damn loser.”

Don’t say that. Don’t worry about being over here while you want to be over there. Just be here, love being here and continue wanting to be over there.

Instead say, “Man, what I’ve got going on right now is great and I’m excited about what I’ve got coming up.”

Son, don’t make life harder than it has to be. You’re going to face things that will make you want something different than you have many times in your life. You will find yourself in places you don’t want to be. Those things will suck. People you love will die, there will be illness, you will have financial hardships, personal hardships, people will let you down. There’s will be plenty of that. So don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Be perfect. Be thrilled with where you are right now and glad that you are doing the things you are doing to get over there where you want to be.

Listen really closely, son. The best thing you can do to be the most happy and satisfied in your life is to have a healthy balance of being happy and grateful where you are AND taking the steps to get to where you want to be.

It’s not an easy balance to strike.

No matter how much your life sucks, you’ll find things about it that are awesome. Son, I’m going to be really real with you now, cause we’re always really real with each other. There will be times in your life when the only thing you have to look forward to is jerking off before you go to sleep. Your life might really suck for certain periods of time.

But you also know, no matter what, something is leading you out of those times and into better times. Maybe it’s just waiting. Sometimes waiting is all you can do. But usually there are other things you can do, like learn a new skill or work a second job to get caught up on our bills or whatever it might be….

The important thing is to keep it all in balance. Remember that at the end of the day, you get to jerk off and let that one thing keep you going. Most of the time, you will have more than just that to look forward to, so focus on all those things that make you feel good. And focus on what you are doing to make it better. Keep them in balance. Keep your attitude as good as possible while you move in the direction to make it better.

There are also times when life is good — really good. Things are going how you want them to. That’s great! Those times are easier to enjoy. But no matter how good things are going, there is something else you want, right? Remember the balance, to move toward what you want. Maybe it’s a promotion and you just need to gain experience. Well, in that case, just getting up and going go work everyday is what you are doing to get to the next level — perfect. Maybe there is something else. May be you want to have more friends. Then maybe getting out a little bit more moves you in that direction. Maybe you went out to a meetup and didn’t meet anybody. That’s OK son, you did what you needed to do. I’m proud of you for that. Be proud of yourself too.

Son, be easy on yourself. No matter what you do, you are perfect. You are doing your absolute best right now in this very minute. At every point in your life, whether you’re strung out on drugs or living out your wildest dreams, you are doing the best you can right now.

Remember this:

No Matter What. You are always doing the very best you can.

And I love you more than you can even know because you are my perfect son.

Photo by Rahul K on Unsplash