About

When my dad died, I didn’t cry. I wasn’t sad. The only thing I felt was relief. When he was alive, he wasn’t able to give me the loving, supportive words that I needed to hear.

About three weeks after he died, I woke up on a Sunday morning with these thoughts running through my head. It was kind of like a letter a dad would write to his son. It was really kind and loving. The words were coming really strongly and it was all I could think about. So I grabbed my laptop and started typing them out.

What flowed so naturally and gracefully from my fingers that Sunday was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. I titled it “a letter to my depressed son,” which you can read here.

I posted it to a popular sub on Reddit. It quickly had hundreds of upvotes and I was being inundated with comments and private messages. Men and women of all ages were reading the letter to my depressed son and it was moving them to tears. They were saying this is what they have always wanted to hear from their dad, but never did.

The letters in this series are meant for sons who are in that period from their teens to their early-mid 20’s. It’s a period of time that is really hard for young men. You’re not a little boy any more and you still have plenty to learn about the world. It’s a period of your life when you really need a dad to be there for you. You need a dad who will put his arm around you when you are crying, pull you in tight and say, “Cry son. Let’ it out.” And not judge you one bit while you do it.

A dad’s job is to love his son fiercely. To love his son no matter what. A dad’s job is to accept his son for exactly who he is — exactly. And to be the one person his son can always turn to with anything. Anything. Always.

Some of us never had the dad we needed. Whether it’s because he died, doesn’t know how to be a dad, or is too busy dealing with his own issues, our dad isn’t there like we need him to be.

You dad may not be able to be there for you, but his essence is always there. These letters are meant to capture his essence. If your dad was sitting across from you and he forgot about all his problems, let his guard down and gave you the best of himself, these letters and what he would say.

When you read these letters, take a deep breath, sit calmly and let your guard down. Relax and just listen to your dad through these words for a short time. While you read these letters, feel that special connection that only a dad and his son have.

Will you open your heart and let these words in? You don’t have to agree or disagree, just open your heart and let dad’s love in. Feel what it’s like to have a dad who loves you with all his heart and wants the best for you.

I love you so much that I push through my own insecurities, my own embarrassment, my own fears that these letters are weird. I push through all those feelings because my love for you is greater than those fears.

I give you the best of my insights and information that I can muster from my highest and best self. I give you this because I believe it’s my job to show you what I’ve learned; to teach you what I’ve learned so you can use that information to be the best man you can be and use those insights to be a better man than me.

I want you to be stronger, smarter, happier and more fulfilled than I could ever dream of. Success for me as a dad is when my son is a stronger, happier and more fulfilled man than I am. So I give you everything I have.

Then it’s your job to take that and build on it. Become better. Use what I teach you to be better and make your own mistakes, learn your own lessons, and then give your sons everything I gave you, plus what you learned. And let them build on that. And so on.

That’s legacy. That’s being a man who makes the world a better place for the infinite future.

I love you and I’m proud of you, son.